Hello Stranger!

My oh my it's been awhile. I've been lost amid a sea of work and drama and getting in my own damn way. I've felt a bit lost, starting focusing on everyone else and not on myself. And normally I would say well that's what I do. Until I realize that is NOT HEALTHY. And I have known this for awhile now, but I think it's easy to fall back into old habits when we are stressed.

Why are we taught that is what life is supposed to be like? It drains you....and you can't pour from an empty cup. It is definitely my default and what I revert back to. I'm working on figuring out how to not do that....but I definitely do not have the answer yet. I have failed every challenge on this to date. But good news-while life in general is pass/fail I have another chance. More then one, if I'm lucky.

OK well how do I do this. I'm learning this year in residency about myself. That I am a planner and list maker. I do not do well with with last minute cram sessions in order to prepare for a deadline. I'd rather have a schedule ahead of time and determine the proper course of action. It's how I cope-to do lists and checklists, and calendars. So here's my to do list for the next day...week...month....year...lifetime.

1. Self care. This simple phrase is so all encompassing. Waking up to make my coffee and my Shakeology every day. Not going to work on nothing but caffeine. Working out (once I get rid of this awful cough that has decided to live with me) at least more then notI know with what I do every day is probably not realistic. And that's OK. Personal Development. Need this. It makes such a difference...just a page a day before bed at the minimum.

2. Plan. Block time to read for work. Time to write for research. Time to work out. Time to do the self care. And time to do those things I love-farmers market, seeing friends, sleeping. Because if I wake up and just say I have to get a lot done today I probably won't get anything done. And if all I do is work 24/7, I will at some point tip the scales into failing at everything.

3. Drop the expectations. This one is hard. I'm working on a deadline at work and have been told not only am I expected to get something done that would ordinarily take someone weeks but I have a week and a half to do it. Awesome. And I will do my best to get it done with everything that's in my power. But that's all I can do. No amount of wish or freaking out or panicking myself is going to make that any different. Do the work, which will include long days and leave the rest there.

4. Recognize when I'm on empty before it happens. This one is harder The goal is never to get here. But again let's set up some acceptance that life happens. And hopefully when I fall back into these patterns can push the brakes long before I'm where I'm at.

I have some time off coming up....all my time off basically saved up for the end of the year. I'm looking forward to some self recovery and reflection. Not sure what I will do yet but really hoping there's a beach involved.

Any other suggestions on things I need to keep in mind? Things that you do to take care or refill yourself before you run empty?